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    raminaesilva: LOST

    It`s seven days since our neighbor little John, fourteen years old, disappeared. We used to go to school together. We used to play soccer together. We used to stalk the girls together. We used to masturbate and see who would throw the sperm farther. We were very much united. In the joy and in the sorrow. I`m missing him.

    Now I must go to school alone. It`s not so exciting as when we used to go together. John was a very smart and naughty guy. He was always playing tricks at somebody and nicknaming people. Our teacher he called The Frog, because she was ugly, short, fat and her voice was harsh. His grandpa he would call The Old freckled dog and so on. As regards to me, his behavior was not always the same. When we were alone he was very nice, But, when we were amongst others he used to mock me and call me moron. We had some quarrels about that but he never stopped calling me moron. So I just got used to his mockery because I had no options. He was my only friend. I don`t know why but no one else has patience to talk to me. They say that I am too slow to talk and sometimes I forget what I am saying. Or that when I get too anxious and try to talk fast before being interrupted nobody understands what I`m saying. Every time people are talking and I try to take part in the conversation, someone always interrupts me and nobody pays attention to what I`m saying. That`s the reason of my anxiety. I know that nobody is interested in what I want to tell. Whatever it be.

    Coming back to John, he also didn't pay any attention to what I said and never ever listened to me. But at least he would allow me to follow him when he was perpetrating some mischief. And they were very funny, indeed! Once he pierced the canary`s eyes because people say that, this way, blinded, it will sing better. I remember when he grabbed little Mary`s poodle and ran away because she refused to touch his cock. He kidnapped the dog, hid it, and gave just three days for her to make up her mind about it. After she surrendered to his wishes he drown the animal in the sewer of the same latrine where we ended up by fucking her, and said that, if she would tell something to her parents, he would say that she sucked his cock, what was true. So she shut up her mouth forever. He didn't forgive even his little brothers and sisters, I remember that when we were alone at his house and his parents had asked for him to take care of them and the children were crying all the time, he put some diapers over the gas oven outlet, soaked them with it and put them in his siblings noses. Then, they would sleep all the time without disturbing us while we were smoking marijuana at the veranda. You know, he didn't respect even his parents. Now and then, stealthily, he used to take out water from the toilet vase and spill it in the filter jar. We enjoyed seeing his grandma drink of that water recommending us not to drink water from the tap, only from the filter, because of the bacteria. Very, very funny. Sometimes he exaggerated. Like when we hid behind the steep bank at the margin of the road and threw stones at the cars that went by. Sometimes the stones broke the windshield and the driver would lose his sense of direction. Sometimes there would be accidents. The last time a whole family died. But never, ever, they discovered that we were behind the tricks. It was very exciting. But now it is over because they started looking for the culprits and we were not stupid to give clues. “Let us look for something new” , little John had said.

    What I liked best then and still now is balancing in the chair at the swing outside the house in our garden. I and my brothers used to spend hours going up and down, up and down, to see who would go higher. Once I fell down, broke my head and stayed many days at the hospital. When I came back I didn't remember what happened then and before. What I know about the accident has been told me by my mama.

    At the night John disappeared I went with my parents to help the search. In front of my house there were plenty of cars of the squad with their flickering blue and red lights. We carried torches because, although there was a full moon in a starry sky, it was not sufficient to illuminate the woods around. There was a multitude. His mother and sisters were screaming and crying. We looked all around the lake. The water reflected the torches and the moon and the stars. Albeit it was gloomy, depressing, one could not avoid feeling the beauty of the scenario. I started remembering when we used to lay in the lawn throwing stones at the surface of the lake and they ricocheted several times before drowning. They thought he had drowned. The fire-fighters brought their diving dresses for scuba diving. They searched the lake the whole week and didn't find him. They even brought several drying machines and dried up the lake. Nothing.

    Now, we are at the police station waiting…..They are questioning … It must be the forth or fifth time that my father and mother come to testify. The last time they left the police station very much worried and didn't even talk in our way back home. Then, they stayed locked at their room and talked and talked, sometimes it seemed that they were quarreling. I couldn't understand what were they talking about, because they were muttering and only a few times my father raised his voice and my mother cried.

    It seems that something weird is happening. Sometimes, when I approach, my aunts stop their conversation or change the subject. It seems that they don’t` want me to listen. As to my aunts I don`t care, because they always treated me like that .They don`t like me. It seems that to them I don`t exist. But, as regards to my parents, things look now weirder. They never behaved like that. They always were so tender, so affectionate… Now, at the last nights mother doesn't come to my bed to kiss good night. And my father, when I go to ask for his blessing and kiss his hand, he doesn't even answer.. Strange…. Very strange….

    There are two more odd things happening and I`m worried about that. The first is that they forgot that today it is my thirtieth seven birthday. And there are no gifts, cakes or candles like theretofore and nobody greeted me. The second is that I really cannot remember where the heck I hid the body….

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